www.AdamTerrell.com

Someone of you know that I am using an online school this year.  There is a folder in it that allows you to post self-written surveys to get some opinions of others.  There are certainly many that seem to be written as time-killers.  The most popular ones have you shuffle your songs and post the titles of which songs came up as answers to the questions.

I tried posting one about marriage.  It did reel in a few takers.  I thought I would give some insight to you all by posting the best answer (in my humble opinion) to each one—paraphrased as close as possible to be more readable.  Let me start.

1. Would you kiss someone outside of your immediate family before getting engaged?
   A: I would prefer not to.
   
   
2. How about kissing someone after being engaged but before being married?
   A: No.
   
   
3. How involved would someone have had to have been in a relationship before that person would no longer be a possible candidate for marriage to you?
   A: The fact she's been in other relationships doesn't rule out the person to me, it shows me facets of their personality though. I'd prefer my wife to have abstained from sexual activity until me, and I might not like the fact that they've kissed ten guys passionately before me, but those don't rule the person out.  They are mistakes she has made; I follow God's lead, though it does show facets of her personality.
   
   
4. What age do you think is the  appropriate to date or court?
   A: When you're [old enough to be] looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with.
   
   
5. What are some differences between courting and dating?
   A: The main difference is that courting has a purpose: to lead to marriage.  Dating is usually just for fun.
   
   
6. Do you prefer courting or dating?
   A: Courting.
   
   
7. Abstinence until marriage?
   A: Yes.
   
   
8. Do you think more people get hurt by taking relationships too quickly or too slowly?
   A: Too quickly.
   
   
9. What is the Biblical definition of love?
   A: See I Corinthians 13.
   
   
10. What is the most loving action that comes to mind?
    A: Dying for someone.

One thing on which I would like to comment further: the term dating today is ambiguous.  It is so much so that I think it has become very dangerous.  Dating can be for fun or for soul mate searching when using the ambiguous term.  It is because we use the same term that people can become confused.  To clear things up, all I mean by courting is that you are in a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage unless some large, unforeseen problem arises.

If you are 'dating' someone with the full intention of marriage, that is truly courtship.  Contrariwise, if you are in a close relationship with a girl and you are not fully intending to marry her, that is truly dating.  This latter type of action is Biblically warned against (though not specifically called dating as the word did not yet exist).  To toy with your and another boy's or girl's emotions is highly unwise.  Read II Timothy 2:22 and tell me that you can Biblically disagree.  I would love to hear your points.

Call me a radical conservative.  I want the woman whom I marry to love me in a way she has loved no one else.

In Christ,

Adam